Good morning,
I wanted to tell you that this adventure is a sublime masterpiece and is not in the same cookie-cutter old as so many others. Well done!
You did say you were looking for feedback on the alpha edition, so here are some thoughts:
- Pamela's Revolting Collection: Why have a roll made for the contents at all? It seems like you would start to do a lot of re-rolling as the contents are searched. I am simply going to go down your list and award the contents in order to my players.
- I am not quite sure I understand your scaling suggestions. Who built the original tomb? What species were they?
- To add to that, the twins in area 11, Ogden & Osberth, are they copies of the original builders?
- The puzzles are quite difficult (not a bad thing at all), so based on the group I am running, I may have to add more clues at area 12 to help them. Some of my groups love puzzles, and others HATE them, lol.
- I will probably make Elsbeth a vampire in spider form, so she will bestow vampirism on her victims, causing them to transform into Drider vampires. Good stuff!
- I hope that you decide to create a follow-up that opens the portal and leads to the lair of Miranda!
I intend to add this to Foundry VTT and run my current group through it as a plot point.
Again, I cannot state enough what a masterpiece this is and I am so happy you posted it on Reddit, I feel blessed.