Frank Zappa "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow"
"Dreamed I was an eskimo
Frozen wind began to blow
Under my boots and around my toes
The frost that bit the ground below
It was a hundred degrees below zero...
And my mama cried
And my mama cried
Nanook, a-no-no
Nanook, a-no-no
Dont be a naughty eskimo
Save your money, dont go to the show
Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said oh, oh oh
Well I turned around and I said ho, ho
And the northern lights commenced to glow
And she said, with a tear in her eye
Watch out where the huskies go, and dont you eat that yellow snow
Watch out where the huskies go, and dont you eat that yellow snow
(well, right about that time people
A fur-trapper (who was strictly from commercial)
Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (peekaboo) )
And he started into whippin on my favorite baby seal With a lead-filled snowshoe)
I said, with a Lead-Filled
With a lead filled snowshoe
He said, peekaboo
I said, with a Lead-Filled, With a lead filled snowshoe
He said, peekaboo
He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal
He went whap with a lead-filled snowshoe, and
He hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin, and he
That got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be. so I bent down and I reached down, and I scooped down and I gathered up a generous Mitten-ful of the deadly yellow snow
The deadly yellow snow, from right there where the huskies go!
Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined to take the place of the mudshark in your mythology
Here it goes, the circular motion, now rub it!
(here fido)
And then in a fit of anger I pounced
And I pounced again
Great googly moogly!
I jumped up and down on the chest of the him
I injured the fur trapper
Well he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so, because the deadly yellow snow crystals had
deprived him of his sight
And he stood up, and he looked around, and he said
I cant see
I cant see
Oh, woe is me
I cant see
Well.....you know, I cant see, nothin
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye
And the husky wee-wee, I mean the doggie wee-wee
Has blinded me
And I cant see
Temporarily
Well, the fur-trapper stood there, with his arms outstretched across the frozen white wasteland, trying to figure out what he was going to do about his deflicted eyes.
And it was at that precise moment that he remembered
And ancient eskimo legend, wherein it is written (on whatever it is that they write it on up there) that if anything bad ever happens to your eyes as the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook, the only way you can get it fixed up is to go trudging across the tundra
Mile after mile
Trudging across the tundra
Right down to the parish of st. alphonzo"
/Anders
